The Last Post
I would like to thank everyone for reading and commenting on this blog.
I had the good fortune to spend almost 23 years of my life with a wonderful woman. I hope I have succeeded in conveying in this blog just how special she was
When we were given the news that she had lung cancer, we scoured the internet for information on treatment options and her likely life expectancy. It was terribly dispiriting to find that the doctor’s pessimistic forecast that her time was to be counted in weeks or a few short months was correct. We took strength, however, from the thought that these statistics were reporting the ‘average’ life expectancy. We determined that she would not be ‘average’ – that she, instead, would be the exception. We searched Cancer support forums online and read the ‘diaries’ of those few others in similar situations who had beaten the odds. That gave us strength and encouragement to fight on even in the darkest moments. if some people could do it, we thought – then we could too. And we did. We had nearly 3 years together after the cancer was diagnosed – instead of the 4-6 month the doctors and the statistics suggested was the best we could hope for.
Just as we gained strength and hope from other cancer victims and their carers who posted their stories online so too do I hope that others may read this blog and take some strength and encouragement from it. The end may be inevitable but you can postpone it for a while, making the most of your remaining time together
Though this is the last post in this blog, it will remain ‘live’ for people wishing to read and post comments
Although Anita has left me, I still have my memories of her – and in the unlikely event that I should ever forget what she looked like, I have photographs to remind me. And thanks to modern technology, I can listen to her voice whenever the mood takes me.
In the days following her death, I would ofttimes dial her cell phone and listen to her voicemail message – while it made me cry, being able to hear her voice made me feel less alone – less as if I had lost her forever. Fearful that there may come a time when her voicemail message would no longer be available, I had No 2 son ‘capture’ her message and convert it to an MP3 file for me.
You have seen photographs of Anita. Now hear her voice bring this blog to a close
I think this blog will be a comfort and an inspiration for many years to come, not just for yourself, but many others you may never even know about. You will touch many lives.
I agree with Jill, this is such a powerful blog. I believe it has helped me in some way as well.
As for her voice, that’s great. The photo is one I like the best of all I’ve seen… love her accent. I am so glad you were able to save that, 20 years ago we really didn’t have that technology, or the thought to do something like that!
Thanks. And, since I’m on a caregivers’ theme right now I might reference it and add a link if you don’t mind?
Feel free to do so, Laura. I would be honoured if you did
Well done mate.
I know how hard it was for you to write these final chapters.
Hells teeth! I’m sniffing and my eyes are watering. It must be this curry that I’m eating…. it can’t be anything else, can it?
This blog has already been of great value to many and will continue to be so in the future; written with care, courage, blunt honesty and touching humour. Well done Duncan.
I have this awful knack of putting my foot in it and saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, so I’m just going to “HUG” my friend Duncs, and say thank-you to both you and Anita – it was a wonderful, beautiful, humorous, very sad and touching journey that I took with both of you! xxxxx
Love you, Jules – you, Nobbly, and Nosey each lent me strength when I needed it most
Dunc xx
Duncan – I had no idea.
Have been away for a long time – otherwise engaged, too busy to look at my blog let alone anyone else’s – that reading your beautiful entries about Mrs D have come as a huge shock. I am so sorry for you, for her, for everyone that loves you both, and I am sorry that I didn’t visit before.
What a wonderful, heartfelt memorial to a very special woman. You have done her proud.
With lots of love, WIB XXX
Thanks, WIB