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Meet the Wife

August 10, 2009

6th Aug 2006

Mrs D is a lovely woman (honestly!).

Normally mild-mannered and sweet-natured, she can, however, be a bit of a demon when she has a bee in her bonnet. Indeed, there have been times in our marriage when I would have welcomed the presence of a United Nations Peacekeeping Force to maintain a ‘buffer zone’ between Mrs D and me.

While generally, like most women, incapable of throwing a cricket or a tennis ball, when roused to anger she is able to hurl projectiles across the living room with unerring accuracy.

I speak from painful experience here – (On occasion, I have been forced to retreat to my temporary bunker behind the sofa to avoid the hail of missiles)

In fact, so fierce is she when roused and so accurate her aim, I have secretly written to the M.O.D. offering her services in the fight against the insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Mrs D - (on her Wedding Day)

Mrs D - (on her Wedding Day)

I eagerly await the post each morning for their reply.

12 Comments leave one →
  1. August 10, 2009 2:30 am

    It’s funny how us women can do that. 😉

  2. August 10, 2009 8:34 am

    It says in todays Daily Tel that our army in Afpak have fired 12 MILLION rounds in 3 years.

    They really do need her help with target accuracy.

  3. Julie permalink
    August 10, 2009 9:05 am

    I once threw (hurl sounds sick) an ashtray at my ex-hubby (cant remember what the bugger did, but he probably deserved it!). Of course, with my perfect aim it missed him and hit the wall – but it didn’t break! That made me madder than whatever he’d done, so I spent the next half hour determined to smash this damn ashtray, while he took the opportunity to make a getaway to the pub!

    All I could manage was one little chip out of the damn thing!

    • August 10, 2009 1:04 pm

      You managed to hit the wall?

      Oh, well done !!! 😉 😆

  4. August 10, 2009 1:00 pm

    My ex used to throw the bread knife….. point first !!!

    • August 10, 2009 5:28 pm

      Some women have very funny ideas as to what constitutes ‘foreplay’

  5. August 11, 2009 4:48 pm

    I never threw anything at the ex- … he threw passive-aggressive jabs all the time.. but … I did once get mad, and this was in the very early days of the marriage (harbinger?) and lacking something more creative, I took his glass of milk -yes, milk- and poured it all over his dinner.

    But, now that I know I’m a pretty good shooter, look out baby!

  6. August 11, 2009 9:41 pm

    I want to give you a gift for the opening of your new blog.. with my own personal opinion on wife-shopping:

    • August 11, 2009 9:42 pm

      hmm, tried to put it so that you could play on the blog, maybe you can fix it for me? Could be your new theme song.

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