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Look into my eyes

October 23, 2009

26th Jul 2007

Mrs D went to see a hypnotist last Friday afternoon.

It wasn’t a stage show. He was attached to the Hospital and claimed a 95+% success rate. I was dubious, but Mrs D was desperate to try anything if it would help her give up smoking. So I left them to it and went for a coffee.

An hour and a half later he gave up. He admitted defeat. He had found it impossible to hypnotise Mrs D.

I didn’t gloat. I didn’t say ‘I told you so’. Rather, I felt pity for the poor man – his confidence shattered, his belief in his professional abilities given a severe knock.

I shook his hand, thanked him for trying and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. You see, he was never going to be able to hypnotise Mrs D – for two very good reasons.

Firstly, his sex was against him. Mrs D has NEVER allowed a man to tell her what to do (as I know from experience) so she was not going to let a complete stranger do so.

Secondly, her mental state was not conducive to ‘relaxing’.

We had received bad news earlier that day. We had attended a meeting in the Hospital that morning expecting Mrs D’s recovery from the Op on her left lung to be assessed and, on the basis of those results, to be given a planned date for the Op on her right lung. It was a bit of a shock then to be told the cancer has spread to her blood and as a result an Op to remove the cancer from her right lung has been ruled out.

This was totally unexpected news since we had been told the doctors would not remove part of Mrs D’s left lung if the cancer there was related to the cancer in her right lung. Apparently, however, an analysis whilst Mrs D was in the operating theatre showed sufficient differences as to suggest they cancers might be unrelated, hence the decision to remove the lower 1/2 of her left lung. Later more detailed analysis, however, confirmed that the cancers were related. For the same cancer to appear in both lungs, it must have travelled from one site to the other in Mrs D’s bloodstream. That being the case, surgically removing the top 1/3rd of her right lung is no longer an option. Instead, next step will be chemotherapy. When everything was going well and we were reasonably confident about the future, this news was like hearing a death sentence being passed.

Mrs D has, understandably, been very depressed this week – her life expectancy is now much shorter than we had begun to believe was possible when surgery was an option. A lot of what we were told last Friday, neither of us can remember clearly. A lot of questions we should have asked at the time, we didn’t. (Our brains seemed to go numb with the news.) We’ve had time to get over the shock now, and we’ve got another meeting at the hospital on Monday morning. This time we know what to expect and will be better prepared, with a list of questions written down. Hopefully, we’ll come out of that meeting with a clearer understanding of where we are and what the future holds.

13 Comments leave one →
  1. October 23, 2009 12:28 am

    You know, I don’t know what to say? I admire your spirit and determination to look at this and letting virtual strangers in… What kind of support would you like from us?
    I’m always available for off-line venting and sharing if you need.

    • October 24, 2009 6:58 pm

      Thanks, DF. I appreciate that offer. I really do !!!

      MadHatters and reading other folks blogs keeps me occupied and stops the dark thoughts that come at times so you are already helping me just by writing your blog


  2. October 25, 2009 8:27 am

    Duncan, I suspect that many folk are following this blog but just don’t know what to say in comment. Do you have a visitor counter to confirm or indeed contradict that (I’ve looked all over the page and can’t see one, but…)

  3. October 25, 2009 5:10 pm

    And, thank you for posting the Mrs’ picture, a fine looking woman you have there, Duncan.

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