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If Tomorrow Never Comes

October 30, 2009

4th Aug 2007

There’s a school of thought that says knowing Mrs D’s time is limited allows us to make the most of what time we do have left together. There’s some truth in this. I have never been particularly demonstrative in my affection for Mrs D. I am not overtly romantic. In all the years we have been together, for instance, I have never bought her flowers – not even for her birthday, or Valentine’s Day, and any hapless bugger that dares interrupt my meal in a restaurant to ask if I want to buy a single rose for the lady is told in no uncertain terms to ‘f*ck off’. Whether its part of my Scottish upbringing, I don’t know, but I have seldom spoken openly of my feelings for her. I am not comfortable talking about such things. These past weeks, however, have allowed me to tell Mrs D how much I love her.

The downside to our situation is that the pain of bereavement, rather than being experienced as a ‘one-off event’ so to speak,, is something I experience every day at the thought of losing Mrs D. It catches me in an unguarded moment – often triggered by a song on the radio. One song in particular – Ronan Keating, ‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’ – reduces me to tears every time our local station plays it. When we got in the car to drive home after being told of Mrs D’s cancer this song came on the car radio. I’d heard it before of course but had never paid close attention to the words. I did so then as we sat in silence for a moment or two, each lost in our own thoughts.

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She’s lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she’s my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

‘Cause I’ve lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there’s no second chance to tell her how I feel

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 30, 2009 3:08 am

    a lovely tribute….

  2. October 30, 2009 8:30 am

    Duncan. Has the poignancy of this ballad changed over the 2 years?

    • October 31, 2009 7:51 am

      I’ve become better able to hold the tears in check when the song comes on, Dave, but it still has the power to ‘move’ me when I hear it – particularly now, as Mrs D and I near the end of our journey together.

  3. October 30, 2009 7:48 pm

    Beautiful.

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