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Healing Hands ?

March 5, 2010

4th Oct 2009

It’s been a bad week for Mrs D.

She’s been in a lot of pain – in almost every part of her body, but particularly her back.

Coincidentally, I’ve also been having problems with my back this week – at times the pain has been so extreme I’ve struggled to stand up straight.

Nurafen and Co-Codeine tablet seem to do nothing for Mrs D’s pain. The only thing that seems to take the pain away – albeit only temporarily – is a massage. So several times a day when the pain gets too much for her, I’ve been rubbing her back for 20-30 minutes or so until either she drifts off to sleep or I have to stop because my own back pain is becoming too sore.

Last night I was struck by a fanciful notion.

I’ve been aware from the start that my back pain gets increasingly worse the longer I massage Mrs D’s back. Last night it dawned on me that my back pain is in the exact same spot as is Mrs D’s.

Am I, through the ‘laying on off hands’ during the massage process transferring Mrs D’s back pain to my own?

Have I got ‘healing hands’ ?

Like I said – a fanciful notion, but one preferable perhaps to the alternative, viz., that my pain signals something wrong with me that I should get checked out?

4 Comments leave one →
  1. The Celtic Queen permalink
    March 5, 2010 3:31 am

    Dunc, you were her healer in many aspects but I think it’s your age and I feel achey just reading this. My Austrian friend’s son and wife are both Physios and aged 35 and 37 . Andy is off work presently with his thumb. She has taken on an administration job as head physio as she’s aching as well. More paper work than anything else now and doing the rounds of the hospital. It can take it’s toll doing it all the time especially if you’re not used to it. He can’t use it at all from all the massaging. I’m sure you healed her in many ways and maybe this is one of them “Massage till you drop” and it sounds like you did just that. I think you as her husband did an unbelievable job. I only hope I’m half as positive when it’s my turn to say goodbye. Believe me it’s worrying me already.

    • March 5, 2010 10:41 am

      You’re right about the pains that come with age, Ann. Some mornings I have to slide out the bed sideways then grab the radiator to pull myself upright-ish because my back’s ‘gone’

      This morning – it was a stiff neck, which is only now, hours later, easing off

      Hopefully the day’s long off before you have to say goodbye to Jan but when the time comes you’ll find the strength within yourself to be ‘positive’, Ann – we Scot’s are an emotional lot at times but we’ve always been ‘fighters’ too !!!

  2. Julie permalink
    March 5, 2010 9:32 am

    [originally posted 5th Oct 2009]

    Duncs, I firmly believe that things like this do happen. Particularly when you are very close (not as in next to, but emotionally … ok sorry, I’ll stop trying to explain what I’m tryng to say, I know you’ll understand) to someone. It’s like you’re trying to take their pain away. I know a couple where the husband used to experience labour pains each time she had a baby (4 in total!). It wasn’t as if he was putting it on, because the one time the baby came very early and he was on rugby tour, and apparently collapsed in agony on the bus (he had NO idea at the time that she was in labour).

    So, perhaps you do have that ‘gift’, and your notion is not so fanciful!

    But, just in case, I’d have it checked out if I were you!

    Years ago I was in a very bad car accident, and I was in extreme pain from head and neck injuries, the doctor prescribed these for me :

    Although at times, I did take them in excess just to get rid of the pain, they did work.

    Otherwise, will her doctor not allow you to give her Voltaren injections>

    It’s really not fair that Anita should have to suffer so much pain as well


    • March 5, 2010 9:39 am

      [Originally posted 5th Oct 2009]

      Long day at hospital today, Jules – left house at 9.15 am, didn’t leave hospital until around 1.30.

      Most of that time just hanging around waiting to be seen by Oncology Consultant.

      He’s given me a prescription to get Anita some liquid morphine to try and ease the back pain and made arrangements for her to have a scan to see what’s causing it.

      X-ray this morning showed cancer in lung still being controlled by the drug. The worry with the back pain though is that the cancer may have spread there as well as to her brain. Hence the scan.

      Just have to wait and see now and try and control the pain as best we can

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