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Everyone Goes Away

March 12, 2010
7 Comments leave one →
  1. March 13, 2010 3:32 pm

    I love this song.
    I can only imagine how terribly you miss Anita. And, I will break my normal policy of not telling people what to do by saying that she would want you to carry on, to find joy in life as she did. To work through the hard times with optimism and humor. To persevere! Her last months and days, as you’ve shared them, are great testimony to us all about the power of love. You get to continue in sharing that for all of us, in her absence.


    • March 14, 2010 10:55 am

      I have cried every day since Anita died, Laura. The pain of her loss has not diminished with the passage of time – rather it has increased. But as you say, life goes on.

      You mention ‘humor’ – Humor is very important to me. The ability to make one another laugh and to laugh at the world together is, I think, a vital ingredient in the success of any relationship. Life can be shitty at times – as can people – but if you can find humor in the situation then you lessen the ability of that situation or that bastard person to frighten/harm you. To that end, I continue to seek humor where I can and I value those friends who can make me laugh

      As for finding joy, Anita and I talked about what I should do after she died. I’m a ‘strong’ person, so can cope living on my own but she insisted that if I found someone else to love after she’d gone then I should grab the chance. Above all, she wanted me to be happy. That said, I do not envisage that happening (finding someone else to love and who would love me in turn) any time soon, if at all. Rather, I feel I am simply existing now, not living – killing time, till time kills me

      • March 14, 2010 2:06 pm

        Well, I won’t say anything trite… but I will say (with humor which I hope you can appreciate) that the village widows will be knocking on your door soon…so at least let them fix you a meal or something! Maybe ask one of them to clean for you!

        • March 14, 2010 6:01 pm

          what’re you trying to say, Laura?

          That my house is dirty/untidy ?

          Ya cheeky wee bugger !!! 😉

          • March 14, 2010 11:38 pm

            No, no… just channel their energy in a useful direction, that’s all.

          • The Celtic Queen permalink
            March 15, 2010 12:14 am

            Yeah Laura’s idea is great. When mother in law died father in law was only 76 and the old Polish biddies at his church were already cracking on to him. The humour in it all cheered him up no end. Thinking that they still thought he was good value was the last thing on his mind he reckoned they wanted his pension. Maybe they did lol.

      • The Celtic Queen permalink
        March 14, 2010 2:17 pm

        Dunc I can relate to what you’re saying as my family grieve daily for their dad who deteriorates month by month. Even though he’s still with us he’s slowly disappearing and they grieve for that loving wonderful father he is /was. Humour is a great way to cope . I’m like you I cry now and he’s still here but it’s a different sort of grief I suppose but time will help ease your sadness but I don’t think it will ever truly heal that loss. New things happen in your life, you meet new people and somehow the pain subsides and you learn to accept your loss.
        I think we need to cry as I always feel better afterward for some reason. It’s supposed to release hormones that make us feel better. It has only really been weeks so give it time.
        I think your blogging is an excellent outlet so keep going as it’s very amusing to me anyway.

        I saw Johny Cash in Melbourne once and he was fabulous. This song is a wee bit depressing for me though. He came out with all of his family and played at the Melbourne Tennis Centre. Great show.

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