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I Thought I saw a Puddy Tat

March 10, 2010

8th Nov 2009

They say you should never intervene when two dogs are fighting. Firstly, to do so puts yourself at risk of being bitten. Secondly, by trying to pull one dog away from the scrap you run the risk of exposing it’s vulnerable parts to its rival. Of course when Wee Rab and Ceilidh are scrapping I ignore all that and dive right in to pull Ceilidh off him.

I was sat at the kitchen table working on my laptop when all hell broke loose behind me. They’ve had the occasional tiffs before but it’s mostly bluff, but this time Wee Rab was squealing so loudly and continuously I thought she was killing him – she gets cranky when she’s in season !

I spun round to see them both come scrambling into the kitchen, Rab squealing and Ceilidh growling and snapping, the two of them tumbling over one another, skidding on the tiled floor as wee Rab tried (I thought) to escape.

Without thinking, I grabbed Ceilidh by the scruff of the neck and pulled her off Wee Rab. It was then I realised she wasn’t attacking him at all. With her being held out the way I could see Wee Rab was wrestling with a kitten. I pulled him off her – giving her the chance to escape out the open kitchen door into the garden. She spurned that opportunity, choosing instead to run deeper into the house.

Fuck !!!

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No Resuscitation

March 8, 2010

28th Oct 2009

I feel I should write something but find myself lost for words.

Last week was not a good week for Mrs D.

For the 1st time since we were told she had cancer, I had to call the McMillan Nurse from the local Hospice, and the district nurse in to help. Amongst other things discussed with the nurses, Mrs D made a declaration – to be recorded in her medical notes – that should her heart stop there is to be no attempt to resuscitate her.

There is much I could say about the hellish week that was but I find myself restrained by the wish to allow Mrs D to maintain some dignity.

There were times last week when the end seemed very very near and I was feeling very low. Then a friend sent me a vid. Because I was in an emotionally fragile state the vid reduced me to tears. But then the message it conveyed lifted me up. It would be so easy to give up, to accept the inevitable. But if I give up on herwhat then has Mrs D left to fight for? I need to remain strong so that I can pass some of that strength to Mrs D. This vid reminded me of the need never to give up – ever, no matter how dark the future may seem.

Healing Hands ?

March 5, 2010

4th Oct 2009

It’s been a bad week for Mrs D.

She’s been in a lot of pain – in almost every part of her body, but particularly her back.

Coincidentally, I’ve also been having problems with my back this week – at times the pain has been so extreme I’ve struggled to stand up straight.

Nurafen and Co-Codeine tablet seem to do nothing for Mrs D’s pain. The only thing that seems to take the pain away – albeit only temporarily – is a massage. So several times a day when the pain gets too much for her, I’ve been rubbing her back for 20-30 minutes or so until either she drifts off to sleep or I have to stop because my own back pain is becoming too sore.

Last night I was struck by a fanciful notion.

I’ve been aware from the start that my back pain gets increasingly worse the longer I massage Mrs D’s back. Last night it dawned on me that my back pain is in the exact same spot as is Mrs D’s.

Am I, through the ‘laying on off hands’ during the massage process transferring Mrs D’s back pain to my own?

Have I got ‘healing hands’ ?

Like I said – a fanciful notion, but one preferable perhaps to the alternative, viz., that my pain signals something wrong with me that I should get checked out?

Keep right on . . .

March 3, 2010

27th Sep 2009

Ev’ry road thro’ life is a long, long road .
Fill’ d with joys and sorrows too
As you journey on how your heart will yearn
For the things most dear to you
With wealth and love ‘tis so
But onward we must go

Keep right on to the end of the road
Keep right on to the end
Tho’ the way be long, let your heart be strong
Keep right on to the end
Tho’ you’re tired and weary still journey on,
Till you come to your happy abode
Where all you love, you’ve been dreaming of
Will be there, at the end of the road

With a big stout heart to a long steep hill
We may get there with a smile
With a good kind thought and an end in view
We may cut short many a mile
So let courage ev’ry day
Be your guiding star alway

Keep right on to the End !!!


March 1, 2010

17th Sep 2009

It’s been a long, long road we’ve travelled on – together – since April 2006, with many ups and downs along the way.

We have struggled to hold back the clock, but now there’s a growing sense that it is near time for Mrs D to journey on alone.

That her time now is numbered in days rather than weeks

She has been everything to me – lover, best friend, and I shall miss her.

Wheels on Fire

February 26, 2010

30th Aug 2009

Mrs D got a new set of wheels a few days ago..

Brand new. No previous owner. Her favourite colour too – black, and with alloy wheels.

Dual control. Does 0-12mph in 5 minutes (downhill, with a wind behind me and 4 pints of beer inside me)

We took it for a trial spin today to our local 24 hr Tesco supermarket.

There were a few hairy moments till I got the hang of it – it’s not easy dragging a trolley with one hand and pushing a wheelchair with the other, particularly when the occupant of the wheelchair , and the trolley are set on going different directions !!!

All in all, though, the outing was a success. The wheelchair allowed Mrs D the opportunity to get out and about instead of being trapped in the house too weak to walk anywhere even with the aid of a stick or a zimmer frame.

She also was able to buy herself a load of makeup thingies and a new ‘top’ which delighted her even more.

So yes, definitely a success. The wheelchair was worth every penny I paid for it. Before we take it out on the road again though I’ll need to practice my 3-point turns.

As I said to the Manager at Tesco –

That was a bloody silly place to stack a pile of baked beans !!!

Just like ‘Normal’ . . . except

February 24, 2010

16 Aug 2009

At this stage, even a week seems a long, long time. Continuing to take no chances, therefore, we brought Mrs D’s birthday party forward from next weekend to this.

The weather was kind – a hot sunny day. Mrs D feels cold all the time, though, so we lit the chimney ‘wot’s it called’ thingy on the patio to provide some extra warmth for her.

It was great. Unlike most of our parties, I didn’t have to do a thing. Carla cleaned the house from top to bottom on Friday. Mathew cut the grass while waiting for the other guests to arrive. The food was brought over by the women. There was even a birthday cake emblazoned with an iced photograph of Mrs D when she was a nipper.

Click on pics to enlarge –

t was a great party. Good fun. The kids sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Mrs D – several times. It was just like a normal birthday part, except for one thing – no presents. Mrs D had insisted there be no presents, arguing that it was pointless for folk to buy her anything ‘durable’ since I’d only have to return them to the donors after her funeral’

Anyway, Mrs D thoroughly enjoyed herself – as did every one else. It tired her out, but it was worth it. If nothing else it was nice for her to have someone’s company other than mine for a while !!!